Following a tragic typographical error, singer Madonna has been sentenced to 150 years in prison for her role in bilking tens of thousands of investors out of more than $65 billion.
“It was a terrible, terrible mistake,” said Leon Harpy, a spokesman for the New York court system. “The judge was confused. He said Madoff, and he meant Madoff, but he wrote Madonna.”
Under American law, once a sentence has been written down, it must be carried out, or the Constitution will self-destruct.
“We have no choice in this,” said Judge Denny Chin, who presided over the Madoff case. “Madoff did the crime, but Madonna must do the time.”
Madonna will spend 150 years in prison, and will also be expected to settle thousands of claims by angry victims of the $65 billion Ponzi scheme.
The judge said he felt “just awful” about the flub, and hoped that Madonna could find it within herself to think about other crimes or mistakes she may have made, and to imagine the long prison sentence was for those instead.
“For example, that stuff about adopting African babies was kind of strange. And then there are her films. I didn’t like Truth or Dare one bit, and Shanghai Surprise was just awful.”
“It is not good justice, but it is justice.”
The error comes close on the heels of another celebrity mixup connected to the Madoff case. Actor Henry Winkler, former star of the TV series Happy Days, was sentenced last week to 12 years without possibility of parole for his involvement in the scam, after court documents referred to the Ponzi scheme as a “Fonzie scheme”.
“This whole case has been a disaster,” said Judge Chin.
Meanwhile, disgraced financier Bernie Madoff was released later in the day, and has announced plans to replace Madonna in her Sticky & Sweet Tour.
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