Dick Cheney was in your house late at night

Documents released under Freedom of Information statutes have revealed that U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, in the years 2002 through 2008 was frequently in your house late at night.

With CIA help, Cheney made the regular intrusions into your home without informing Congress or seeking any sort of judicial approval, all under the guise of ‘Anti-Terrorism’.

The papers, published today in the New York Times, reveal that while in your home, Cheney snacked on available food, used the toilet without flushing and perhaps most disturbingly, often watched your daughter sleep, with his nose only an inch away from her face.

Reached for comment an unapologetic Cheney said, “If people don’t like the thought of me lounging nude on their leather couch while flipping through their photo albums, well then sorry, but it was the best way I knew how to fight the Taliban.”

Cheney added that he doesn’t like what you’ve done with the living room, and thought it was better the way it was before. However, he approved of the new TV. “I have the same brand at home,” he said, adding that it was “reliable”.

While President Obama was quick to condemn the actions as ‘inappropriate and inconsistent with The Bill of Rights’ he stopped short of suggesting charges being laid saying, “That’s just Dick being Dick. I mean, who in America hasn’t gotten up at 3 AM for a glass of milk and found Cheney buck naked on the kitchen counter washing his feet in the sink?”