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Rowling got it wrong says real life Harry Potter

potterThe Harry Potter series has earned billions for Hollywood and JK Rowling, but the man who was the inspiration for the bestselling books and smash films hasn’t seen a penny.

“JK Rowling has done wrong by me,” says electrician Dave Rimp. “First, she didn’t give me any of the money. Second, my life story has been totally changed.”

Rimp has never met the famous author, “but she’s obviously been keeping pretty close tabs on me,” he says.

He first became aware of the Rowling’s bizarre interest in his life when he saw the first Harry Potter film with his granddaughter.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” he said. “It was my story, but my name was changed – and worse, so were all the facts.”

In the books, Harry Potter is an orphan, raised by the heartless Dursley family in England. But Rimp insists he was raised by his own parents thousands of miles away in Chicago, along with two sisters and a brother. He describes them as a normal, loving family.

“If you’re going to steal my story, at least have the decency to get it right.”

Like his fictional counterpart, Rimp attended a bustling high school full of mischievous students. But that’s where the resemblance ends.

“There was no train, no messenger owls, no stonework. It was a regular modern high school. And it wasn’t a boarding school. I walked there every morning.”

What about Dumbledore, and friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger?

“Wrong, wrong, wrong,” says Rimp.

“I mainly hung out with my buddies on the football team. And I’m talking American football, not that crazy English Quidditch.”

In the books, Harry Potter has many adventures fighting dragons, evil wizards and other fantasy enemies. In real life, insists Rimp, nothing could be further from the truth.

“Sure, we got into some scrapes. Like one time when a few of us borrowed a friend’s car and flipped it. But not like what you see in those movies. It’s all been changed beyond recognition.”

Rimp can’t understand why Rowling chose to change his expertise from home wiring and electrical installation to arcane magic. “I don’t believe in magic any more than the next guy. But now, thanks to those books, people pass me in the street, and I can see that they’re expecting me to pull out a wand and do spells.”

Rimp removes his trademark glasses and wipes his eyes. “Having enough money at the end of the week to pay the bills – that’s the only magic I know.”

Rimp is uncertain why Rowling should have chosen him as the subject of her stories. “Maybe she just ran out of ideas,” he says. But one thing he’s sure of is that the truth must be told.

“I’m not interested in the money. I just want to set the record straight. And I’d like to be paid.”

Unfortunately for Rimp, a legal loophole prevents him from taking legal action against Rowling. In each of her books and films, she has added the words “Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.” Under the ancient laws of Scotland, where Rowling lives, this protects her from being sued.

“It hurts that she would make billions from my life story and then not pay me anything,” says Rimp. “But what hurts most of all is that the Harry Potter books and films bear absolutely no resemblance to my life.”

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