Saudi Arabia flies from “indecent” planet

Saudi Arabia has left the planet, citing “gross indecency” and “religious error” as the reasons for its departure.

In the early hours of this morning, the country’s conservative religious leaders summoned an enormous Roc, a magical Arabian bird of tremendous size, to pluck the nation from the earth’s crust and carry it off into the sky.

The section of land included significant portions of Jordan, Iraq, the United Arab Emirates and Oman. Yemen was also lifted from the earth’s surface, but broke off, tumbling to the ground and smashing into Iran, as the great bird flew away.

It is speculated that Saudi Arabia will eventually be deposited in a new and distant land, perhaps on another world, or even in another dimension.

Saudi leaders had given prior notice of the event in a broadcast on Al-Jazeera, announcing that the western world had violated Saudi Arabia’s customs once too often. “Now it must pay the price,” said the spokesman. No mention was made of gigantic birds.

Under Sharia law, the Roc may be summoned once every thousand years.

The departure was met with shock, sadness and disbelief throughout the world. In the streets of New York, hundreds of thousands of people flooded into the streets in a spontaneous outpouring of emotion.

“Here in America, we have enjoyed so much of Saudi culture, including shawarma, fatwas, censorship, and bans on pork and alcohol,” wept one woman. “Now it is gone, gone forever.”

President Obama gave a tribute to Saudi Arabia later in the day. “Many have said that Saudi Arabia lagged behind the rest of the world,” he said. “Yet, when it came to lagging behind, this proud nation was ahead of us all.”

However, widespread concerns that the world’s largest oil deposits had also been taken away proved false. A flyby of the area revealed the Saudi oil in a vast lake at the bottom of the hole where the country used to be.

Said Obama, “This does not lessen our grief, but it makes it easier to bear.”