New types of weather on the way
As the world’s climate continues to change, weather experts say we will see not only more extreme weather conditions, but also entirely new types of weather. Old fashioned weathers, like “sunny”, “rain”, “overcast” and “snow” will gradually disappear, replaced by such meteorological newcomers as “Sky Fire” and “Limp Wallys”.
We polled 100 of the world’s top weather experts and asked them what new weather we could expect in the next ten years. Their answers may surprise you.
Sky fire resembles the northern lights, but gives off heat as well as light. It forms when ionized water enters a cloud, enters the nucleus and reacts with the so-called cloud DNA. The reaction generates light and heat, which is radiated out through the cloud’s outer membrane, or gills. This complex and miraculous process creates the lovely effect we know as sky fire.
Most weather conditions involve temperature or moisture, but blench is all about smell – and, as smells go, this one is awful. It’s described as a combination of artificial strawberry, egg, the artifiicial strawberry found in scented erasers, and body odor. It sticks to clothes and skin, and some people try to remove the “blench stench” using lemon juice. But don’t be too hasty to wipe it off – after a few minutes indoors, the smell of blench changes, leaving you smelling like a dewy rose garden in the early hours of the morning.
Rising temperatures penetrate ever deeper into the ocean, eventually causing the entire ocean to evaporate from the bottom up. The sea rises for a moment, but then swiftly cools, and descends again with a loud thud. This process can continue, every few seconds, for many hours, and the pounding sound can be disruptive for those who live by the sea.
Limp Wallys are a type of fog which forms in thin, floppy strands, and tends to wrap around buildings or light poles until it has evaporated. If you find yourself tangled in Limp Wallys, remember that it can be easily unwound, provided you start from the head end of the clouds, and work your way down. This simple rhyme, developed at NASA, may help:
If by Limp Wally you are wound
Unpeel your bonds from head to ground
But if from ground to head you pluck
Then with Wally you shall be stuck
As the earth’s climate becomes warmer, rain will evaporate from the ground as fast as it can fall. This leads to Repeating Torrents, which deposits millions of liters of rain – but it’s the same millions of liters over and over, so the ground never becomes wetter. On a smaller scale, the same phenomenon is responsible for “creeping rain” – miniature rain about the size of a man’s hand. It scuttles back and forth over a lawn like a large spider or slow-moving squirrel.
Scientists have not yet isolated this form of weather, which occupies position 221 on the weather table. What does it look like? What does it do? We don’t know. However, meteorologists predict that its Spectacularity Value should be around 17, roughly equal to a Category 5 hurricane or ball lightning. For good or bad, when Weather-221 shows up, it’s going to be big news.
It’s called Encapsulating Sleet by meteorologists, but to the rest of us it’s “Kinder Hail”. It originates in the cocoa plantations of South America, where gusts of wind pick up cocoa beans and small objects, carrying them high into the atmosphere. Ice gradually forms around these pieces, and takes on the flavor of the cocoa. When it finally falls, half a world away, each ball of ice contains chocolate and a small surprise.
The Devil’s Sunshine
You looking out to see a bright, sunny day, but when you step through your front door, you find yourself in cold, wet conditions. You’ve just become a victim of the Devil’s Sunshine, also known as hyperrefractory droplet effect – and it will become more and more common. Over the next decades, looking at the weather will become too unreliable. Instead, most people will have complicated scientific equipment built into their homes and their clothing.