Prime Minister may have worms
There are speculations that Prime Minister Stephen Harper may have worms, after a package of worm pills was seen in the recycling bin outside his bungalow at 24 Sussex Drive.
The worm medication box was spotted by neighbour Mrs Trina Dubois who lives at number 26. Said Dubois, "Someone in that house has worms. And in my experience, when one gets it, they all do."
Opposition leader Michael Ignatieff offered his support. "If the prime minister does have worms, he has my sympathy," said Ignatieff. "Our thoughts are with him during this challenging time, and I advise him to change and wash all the sheets and blankets."
The worm medication was Worm-a-Go brand. According to the manufacturer website, it is effective against pinworms, roundworms, tapeworms, whipworms and hookworms, but not earthworms (pictured above).
Broken "modem" causes major Canadian internet outage
Canadian web surfers faced blank screens last night, when an internet outage plunged the nation into the cybervoid.
The outage occurred after a malfunction at McGuinn Data, the nation's service provider. Said owner, Sam McGuinn, "It looks as if the cleaner knocked the power switch by mistake, turning off the modem."
The modem, a kind of computer telephone device, was turned on again this morning, restoring Canada's information highway to the world.
"World class" silo repaired
James Hedfield's grain silo, which has been undergoing roof repairs following discoveries of a leak, is now fully operational once more.
The silo, the largest in Canada, has frequently been called "the eighth wonder of Canada".
Said Hedfield, "This is a world class structure which really puts Canada on the map."
Library worker grieves over lost shawl
Lisa McDuffin, an assistant at the Library of Canada, has lost her favourite shawl. "It was pinkish red, with a cream and blue pattern around the edges," she said.
McDuffin thinks she "might have put the shawl down" somewhere near the magazine rack. Head librarian, Lois Stubbs, insituted a thorough search of the library, but so far, the shawl has not turned up.
Anyone with information about the shawl should contact the library. The telephone number is 724.
Gum desking "out of control" say police
Police are seeing a disturbing rise in "gum desking" - the illegal placement of used chewing gum under desks and tables in public places.
"We had two cases reported in 2007," said RCMP Sergeant Pete McMillan. " Last year it was four. And this year, there have been five cases of this disgusting crime in the first six months alone. It's becoming an epidemic."
So far, police have made no arrests, but McMillan sends out a warning to anyone who may be thinking about taking a shortcut in disposing of their chewing gum: "If I catch you at it, I will be cross."
The public are asked to report any sightings of gum desking to Sgt McMillan. The telephone number is 922.
Canadian gets on Saturday Night Live
Canadian Fiona Elliot appeared on the American television show Saturday Night Live last week. Her Canadian features were splashed on millions of television screens across the United States, as she sat in the audience and laughed at the comedy hijinks.
"It was a dream come true," says the 23-year-old, who hopes to parlay her appearance into a career as a film star, model, or assistant cosmetician.
You can read the details in our upcoming six-part series Fiona's Trip to America.
Anti-Submarine mission complete
Two Canadian Navy vessels were dispatched across Hudson Bay yesterday, after a report that a Russian submarine had been spotted in Canadian waters by Mrs Betty McPherson, at Screech Point. .
Navy attack kayaks Vengeance and Indestructible moved swiftly across the Bay to challenge the foe, but discovered that what had appeared to be the partially surfaced tower of a Russian Kursk class submarine was actually a dead seal.
The seal has now been brought to shore, and will be used to provide meat for the poor.
Captain Mark McDougall said that the rapid response of Canadian forces would send a "strong message" to the Russians about sending their submarines into Canadian waters.
Amusing horse draws rave reviews
An amusing horse which wears a comical, Santa-like cap decorated with reindeer horns, is drawing rave reviews from south of the border.
"That horse was funny. Very funny," said Miles Krausner, from Bennington, Vermont, who was visiting Canada with his wife Esther.
Asked whether they thought the horse might go on to become really big, and whether it made Canada seem more world-class, the tourists responded, "Definitely."
Charline Adderfield says she came up with the idea while sewing a Halloween costume for her nephew Ewan. "I had no idea it would become such a success," she added.
Adderfield has been nominated for the Order of Canada for her work in promoting the country.
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