Category: Entertainment
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Rowling got it wrong says real life Harry Potter
The Harry Potter series has earned billions for Hollywood and JK Rowling, but the man who was the inspiration for the bestselling books and smash films hasn’t seen a penny. “JK Rowling has done wrong by me,” says electrician Dave Rimp. “First, she didn’t give me any of the money. Second, my life story has…
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Heather Mills McCartney to marry the Jonas Brothers
LOS ANGELES – Heather Mills McCartney is going down the aisle again in September, this time marrying sensational pop trio the Jonas Brothers. “I’m marrying for an old-fashioned reason,” said the former biped model. “It’s the love between a woman and three men. I have a profound and romantic connection to Kevin, Joe and the…
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Warcraft, EverQuest good for kids say Dwarves
Far from isolating children from friends and reality, games like World of Warcraft and Everquest help them to become productive members of society, say researchers in the Dwarven city of Ironforge. “I’m constantly hearing from parents who are concerned about the time their kids spend playing World of Warcraft,” said head researcher and hunter Talin…
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Madonna given 150-year prison term in Ponzi sentencing mixup
Following a tragic typographical error, singer Madonna has been sentenced to 150 years in prison for her role in bilking tens of thousands of investors out of more than $65 billion. “It was a terrible, terrible mistake,” said Leon Harpy, a spokesman for the New York court system. “The judge was confused. He said Madoff,…
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Christian leader says Star Wars not “a long time ago”
Rev. John Towers of Raysville, Kentucky is up in arms against the movie Star Wars, claiming that the film is contrary to the teachings of the Bible. The minister’s anger is directed at the film’s famous opening words – “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away”. “This is a lie foisted on…
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Michael Jackson funeral to be hit TV series
The major US TV networks have announced that the Michael Jackson funeral will be extended into a complete weekly series, to be shown simultaneously on all channels. Said producer Aaron J. Scupper, “The Jackson funeral was a phenomenal TV event, and we are tremendously thrilled and excited at the opportunity to build it into a…
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Michael Jackson “black box” found
CALIFORNIA – Investigators say they have recovered the black box of downed “King of Pop” Michael Jackson, just hours before the search was to be called off. The pop singer’s voice and data recorder is designed to emit signals with an infectious beat for 30 days after an accident. It was these faint signals which…