Category: Sci/Tech

  • Woman finds “lucky penny” dating from Big Bang

    “See a penny, pick it up. All the day you’ll have good luck.” The verse is more than a saying for Eileen Mueller, of Morse, Saskatchewan. While leaving her work at a fish processing plant a few weeks ago, she spotted a penny on the road. The penny has turned out to be a priceless…

  • Computed: The world’s most beautiful woman

    The perfect woman may not exist in reality, but scientists now know what she would look like. The discovery follows five years of painstaking work by researchers at Montreal’s McGill University, who digitally selected and blended the best features of the world’s most beautiful woman, to create a single composite face, revealed here for the…

  • Swine flu a flop – upgrade planned

    Scientists at the World Health Organization have announced a new upgrade to the troubled H1N1 Swine Flu virus. The new version, H1N1.1 has now been released on a limited scale for beta testing, and will be ready for a widescale rollout in two months. “We’ve come under a lot of flak for announcing deadly diseases…

  • Collision repair all in a day’s work for quantum mechanic

    Five years ago, Dave Bankit was an auto body specialist trying to make ends meet with a collision repair shop. “These are tough times for the small independent,” he says. “Business was terrible, and I knew I had to make some changes. Most of my work was coming from subcompacts, so I thought, why not…

  • Mathematicians celebrate baffling new proof

    Mathematicans around the world were celebrating today, after the announcement that Glimpi’s Conjecture had been proved by Edward Chen and Elias Gruenwald at MIT. The 29-year-old Chen said, “We are delighted. Glimpi’s Conjecture is literally the Holy Grail of numeric set lassitude mathematics.” Gruenwald laughed as he added “And of non-polychromic mathematics in general!” Reaction…

  • Earth to freeze – Climate skeptics thrilled

    Our planet is doomed to freeze into a lifeless, icy sphere, say researchers. The new results overturn previous studies which had mistakenly predicted a global rise in temperature. The new results show that earth’s temperatures will go into freefall, freezing the oceans, and the air we breathe. The changes will utterly destroy all life on…

  • Dinosaur scientists scared of skeletons

    Paleontologists are leaving their field in record numbers, and the problem is skeletons. “Skeletons are the most scary thing known to science, but unfortunately, that’s what this field is all about,” said Erasmus Cope, Professor of Dinosauric Studies at the University of Alberta. According to Cope, paleontology is facing a brain drain crisis of brontosaurus…