“Author Archive”

Evidence suggests ailing pet not sent to “nice farm”

Evidence suggests ailing pet not sent to “nice farm”

TORONTO, ON –  Nine year old Toronto Ontario resident Ashley Manheim says she has found evidence to suggest ‘Dukey’, her 11-year-old mixed breed hound did not go away to live at a “nice farm”, as her parents told her. Teary eyed, but resolute during a news conference at the Humane Society where the fourth grade […]

September 3rd, 2009 | Posted in Headlines | Read More »

African prince shares millions with builder

African prince shares millions with builder

SPARTA, Wisconsin – After many years of sending emails around the world to good people he hoped would help him, deposed Nigerian Prince Arthur Eze finally found builder Al Espensen of Sparta, Wisconsin. With Espensen’s assistance, Eze has secured his once locked fortune of 96.6 million dollars. Mr.Espensen found out that being a Good Samaritan […]

July 29th, 2009 | Posted in Business, Headlines, World | Read More »

Poor turnout for Dead Pride Parade

Poor turnout for Dead Pride Parade

TORONTO – Canada’s first Dead Pride parade in Toronto’s downtown was a bust this past weekend with no participants willing to come out publicly as dead in front of the whole community. Charles Dukowski, organizer of the event said he was very disappointed by the low turnout, but put the blame on society`s attitudes rather […]

July 27th, 2009 | Posted in Headlines | Read More »

Murderous Oprah forgiven by public, self

Murderous Oprah forgiven by public, self

Oprah Winfrey formally apologized today for her murderous shooting spree at a South Side Chicago nursing home that killed 14 seniors and sent 21 more to hospital. “Caring for seniors can be tedious work for nurses and caregivers,” said the talk show idol, “but this does not excuse my behavior at St. Mark’s Home for […]

July 23rd, 2009 | Posted in Entertainment, Headlines | Read More »

Dick Cheney was in your house late at night

Dick Cheney was in your house late at night

Documents released under Freedom of Information statutes have revealed that U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, in the years 2002 through 2008 was frequently in your house late at night. With CIA help, Cheney made the regular intrusions into your home without informing Congress or seeking any sort of judicial approval, all under the guise of […]

July 17th, 2009 | Posted in Headlines | Read More »

Heather Mills McCartney to marry the Jonas Brothers

Heather Mills McCartney to marry the Jonas Brothers

LOS ANGELES – Heather Mills McCartney is going down the aisle again in September, this time marrying sensational pop trio the Jonas Brothers. “I’m marrying for an old-fashioned reason,” said the former biped model. “It’s the love between a woman and three men. I have a profound and romantic connection to Kevin, Joe and the […]

July 15th, 2009 | Posted in Entertainment, Headlines | Read More »

Madonna given 150-year prison term in Ponzi sentencing mixup

Madonna given 150-year prison term in Ponzi sentencing mixup

Following a tragic typographical error, singer Madonna has been sentenced to 150 years in prison for her role in bilking tens of thousands of investors out of more than $65 billion. “It was a terrible, terrible mistake,” said Leon Harpy, a spokesman for the New York court system. “The judge was confused. He said Madoff, […]

July 12th, 2009 | Posted in Entertainment, Headlines | Read More »

Batch of E Coli recalled, may contain Listeria

Batch of E Coli recalled, may contain Listeria

Health officials in Michigan have recalled thousands of cans of E. coli because of fears that it may contain the deadly Listeria bacteria. Shoppers are advised to return the tainted germs for a full refund. Affected products include E. coli sold from June 23rd to June 30th at LickMart, Johnston’s Ready Grocery, and Big Shelf […]

July 9th, 2009 | Posted in Headlines | Read More »

Palin picks imaginary friend as 2012 running mate

Palin picks imaginary friend as 2012 running mate

ANCHORAGE – Just days after announcing she would soon leave the Alaska Governor’s job, Sarah Palin has surprised political pundits again, this time naming a virtual unknown as her 2012 Presidential running mate. Princess Beebee Platypus, who Ms.Palin says first appeared to her when she was a lonely 4 year old, shares most political views […]

July 8th, 2009 | Posted in Headlines | Read More »